Holidays Abroad

Living abroad is such a rewarding endeavor, and nothing can compare to the experiences you get while doing it. I would never regret moving abroad, and I think it’s something everyone should do at some point in their life. But nevertheless, when October and November and December come around, nothing can prepare you for the sting of watching everyone you know back home celebrate together, without you. And of course, they shouldn’t postpone their lives for your sake, but it’s also extremely valid to say that it’s hard to watch.

My first Thanksgiving away from home, I had class the entire day. Which already proves how non-celebratory that Thursday was. That evening, my American friends and I decided to pick up Chinese takeaway, get $2 bottles of wine from the corner store, and have our own non-Thanksgiving. I think because it was the first one, it was that much harder to watch, because everyone who had started college at the same time as me were going home for the first time since they’d moved. The friend and pet and parent reunions were so sweet to watch from the outside, but also reinforced the truth that I wouldn’t get that for another month. And some people I knew wouldn’t get that for another 6 months. When you live thousands of miles away, it’s not only a hassle to navigate your way home, but it’s also so expensive. My European friends have short hopper flights or trains home, but if you live anywhere outside of Europe, asking an airline for an international flight under $500-$1000 at Christmas is laughable. Not to discredit the realities of living abroad for anyone, European or American, etc. — if you decided to move to an entirely different country, you’re going to feel the soreness of missed familial events, birthdays away from home, and holidays you couldn’t make it back for.

This year, my friends and I decided to go two hours north of Prague, to an Airbnb in a small, snowy village. I wrote about it in my recent Armchair Traveler post, ‘Bělá pod Bezdězem.’ We had a real Friendsgiving, bought wine that was a little bit better than the $2 corner store wine from two years prior, and it was sweet and cozy and everything I could’ve asked for on Thanksgiving in the Czech Republic. But, it still stung. Everyone back home was posting pictures of their tables filled with food, hugging family and setting up for Christmas. Living here, we don’t have access to all of the same foods as my family does in America (part of that I’m grateful for, their restrictions are much better here), so if you’re craving a familiar dish or comfort food, you have to either try and make it from what you have or go without it until you’re home. This year, it was cranberry sauce for me. I don’t know why, but I kept thinking about how our meal felt incomplete without the cranberry sauce. That fixation was probably just me compartmentalizing my feelings of being out of place for the holiday, but it made me sad, and prompted me to think about next year. I said to my mom, “I think I’ll actually get to be at Thanksgiving next year, for the first time in 3 years.” I literally almost cried after that conversation. It better be the most festive, turkey-stuffing-potatoes-cranberry-bread-pumpkin-eggnog-coma-inducing Thanksgiving of my life.

I’m also planning on going all-out for Christmas next year. I am a huge decorator. I adore putting on Christmas music, pulling out the decor, and turning my house into the North Pole. Because I live in an apartment now, and I’ve known it’s not permanent, I haven’t bought too many Christmas decorations over the past 3 years. I have a small faux tree, a reindeer blanket, and a few Christmassy tea towels I thrifted from the States and brought over with me. But when I tell you I grew up with about 6-8 large boxes of Christmas decorations, I’m not exaggerating. And also, I just miss Christmas shopping. I know that it’s such a consumeristic holiday and big corporations take advantage of the season to make as much money as possible, which is something consumers should be aware of. BUT, picking up a friend, going to Starbucks and getting a drink with a cute holiday cup, and going to a mall to Christmas shop is one of my favorite memories from high school. Something about picking out gifts for everyone I love, whether that be online or in-person, and then wrapping them and trying to keep a secret is so fun and so exciting to me.

I don’t hate living abroad during the holidays. The Christmas markets here are incredible, and I’ve seen them in multiple countries. Plus, since they don’t really celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving doesn’t exist here, the Christmas season starts in November and they go all-out. It’s kind of magical to see the entire city lit up and see Christmas trees pop up everywhere. The friends I’ve made here have become family, and I wouldn’t have made it without them. Having others to lean on during the holiday season can make it just as special, and you’re given the opportunity to make your own traditions. I know once I graduate I’m going to feel nostalgic for the dorm-room Thanksgivings and the college-budget presents, so I’m trying to soak it in as much as possible this year.

If you’re in the same boat as me and feeling the familiar aching that comes with missing home during this time, I want you to know that your feelings are so valid. I know a lot of people may say, “But you’re so lucky! You get to live in this incredible place!” and while that’s correct, multiple things can be true at once. You can be homesick while also wanting to be exactly where you are. You can miss holiday meals with your family while also enjoying them with friends. However you’re coping, there’s no right or wrong way. There’s not exactly a handbook on how to deal with your emotions when you’re actively re-writing your life. If you don’t have the opportunity to go home this year for Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or any other holiday you choose to celebrate, I hope you can create your own magic this season. I hope you have friends you can connect with and who will make the holiday just as special as it would be at home. I hope you realize how incredible you are for moving abroad, and how proud of you I am.

While I try to have an open reflection on this topic, I know my experiences are very different than yours might be. So, I decided to ask my friends who also live abroad during the holidays about their thoughts and experiences. If you weren’t able to connect with me, I hope something one of them said resonates with you. Thank you to all of my friends who were vulnerable enough to share this with me.

The two texts above are from my lovely friend, Ayla. She has a blog of her own, and I highly recommend it. She talks about her experiences traveling and living abroad, and she has the most beautiful energy. Her website is aylasophieclark.com and you can find her on Instagram at @aylasophieclark.